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If you don't read the whole thing, you're a communist.
Ping Pong Joke
There once was a lonely man named John, who was the lone heir to a massive fortune. One would think that such a man would be quite happy (for the fortune was really quite massive), but he was not. He always felt that there was a hole in his heart that was never filled, no matter how many parties he went to, women he had, or expensive dinners he ate. Day and night he sat in his house, soul searching for the one thing that would make him happy.
One day, in the middle of a stormy night, there was a quiet knock at the door. John looked up from his usual seat, lowering the book he was reading.
"Hello?" he calls out, but no second knock returns his inquiry. Cautiously, he gets to his feet and shuffles towards the door in his bathrobe, giving the peephole a quick look; nothingness peered back at him from. He finally inches the door open to see that there was no one at the door, but whoever was there had left a basket with a baby with a single ping pong ball. Perplexed, he peers up and down the street, and seeing no one, decides to take the child into his home and raise him as his own.
Life for John and his child, named David, lived together happily, with the father giving his son anything he ever needed to grow up into a healthy boy (after all, his fortune was really quite massive). For his third birthday, the man seats David on his lap and asks him, "My boy, you're almost 3 now! I think this year, for your birthday, I'll let you pick what you want for a gift. Anything you want, just name it, and you shall have it."
The child looks up at his father, and didn't wait a single second before blurting "Ping pong ball!" The man looks down curiously at his son, but doesn't question him, since he had promised him anything he had wanted. Thus, on his third birthday, David's father bought him a sleeve of three ping pong balls and presents them to him. Squealing happily, he grasps his prize in his hand and scampers off into the depths of John's large mansion (rather large, as his fortune was really quite massive). By the end of the night, the ping pong balls had disappeared. However, David had made no fuss, and actually seemed quite pleased with himself, with whatever he had done with the balls, so his father made no mind of the matter and soon forgot of what had happened.
Two more years pass, and the wobbly boy of before was now running on his two feet everywhere. He had lived without any needs or wants unfulfilled, and was quite a happy child. His father called for him, and asked him. "My boy, you're almost 5 now! I think this year, for your birthday, I'll let you pick what you want for a gift. Anything you want, just name it, and you shall have it."
The boy looks up at his father, and didn't wait a single second before exclaiming "I want some ping pong balls!" The man looks down curiously at his son, but doesn't question him, since he had promised him anything he had wanted. Thus, on his fifth birthday, David's father bought him two sleeves of three ping pong balls each (in case he lost one, which he had assumed was what happened with the one he bought for him two years prior). Cheering happily, he grasps his prizes, one sleeve in each hand, and runs off into the depths of John's large garden (rather large, as his fortune was really quite massive). By the end of the night, not one, but both sleeves of all six ping pong balls had dissapeared. However, David had made no fuss, and actually seemed quite pleased with himself, with whatever he had done with the balls, so his father made no mind of the matter and soon forgot of what had happened.
This goes on year after year, birthday after birthday, gifts of ping pong balls mysteriously vanishing the very day that they were given. Yet each year, David makes no fuss about the missing balls, and seems to only want for the next year to come so he may receive more. On his 18th birthday, when his son had asked for ping pong balls (naturally), John laughed and replied, "I don't know why I even ask anymore, since you always ask for the same thing. However, because you *are* 18, I will buy you a brand new car!" Thus, true to his promise, John bought his son a brand new convertible, loaded to the tip top with ping pong balls, for his son had predictably asked for the item.
Cheering happily, the young man jumps into his prize, body displacing a large amount of ping pong balls, and he drives off into the distance in his brand new expensive car (rather expensive, as his father's fortune was really quite massive). By the end of the night, when he returned, every single ball had dissapeared from the car. However, David had made no fuss, and actually seemed quite pleased with himself, with whatever he had done with the balls, so his father made no mind of the matter and soon forgot of what had happened.
More of the same happens every year, lavishly expensive presents rewarded with an equally lavish amounts of ping pong balls, with all the balls dissapearing. Finally, on David's 26th birthday (which also happened to be his wedding day), his father asked him what he wanted. After receiving the quite obvious response, John laughed and replied, "I don't know why I even ask anymore, since you always ask for the same thing. However, because you *are* getting married, I will buy you a brand new house!" Thus, true to his promise, John bought his son a brand new house with two silos to the side, each loaded to the tip top with ping pong balls, for his son had predictably asked for the item.
Cheering happily, the young man moves into his prize with his newly married wife, and John drove home. That night he received a phone call; his son was stricken with some sort of unknown ailment, and lay gasping for air in his bed. The distressed father hurried over, and before running into the house, noticed that both silos of ping pong balls were completely empty. Entering the house, he is stopped by the doctor who was already on the scene and seen the young man. Taking John aside, the doctor revealed to him some grim news.
"I don't know what caused your son to collapse, but what I can say is he is dying, and I don't know why. I do know, however, that there is no cure and no amount of money can save him, even though your fortune was really quite massive. The only thing you can do for him now is to speak to him before he dies."
With a sad, sad heart, the man walks up the stairs, tears welling in his eyes as he sees his son laying shivering and pale on the bed. He takes a seat next to his dying child, holding his hand firmly before looking toward him and asking a single question.
"My son, there is something I really, really need to know. What *have* you been doing with all those balls?"
David smiles weakly, his final and last smile before opening his mouth and responding, "Well father I..."
And he dies. The end.
Ping Pong Joke
There once was a lonely man named John, who was the lone heir to a massive fortune. One would think that such a man would be quite happy (for the fortune was really quite massive), but he was not. He always felt that there was a hole in his heart that was never filled, no matter how many parties he went to, women he had, or expensive dinners he ate. Day and night he sat in his house, soul searching for the one thing that would make him happy.
One day, in the middle of a stormy night, there was a quiet knock at the door. John looked up from his usual seat, lowering the book he was reading.
"Hello?" he calls out, but no second knock returns his inquiry. Cautiously, he gets to his feet and shuffles towards the door in his bathrobe, giving the peephole a quick look; nothingness peered back at him from. He finally inches the door open to see that there was no one at the door, but whoever was there had left a basket with a baby with a single ping pong ball. Perplexed, he peers up and down the street, and seeing no one, decides to take the child into his home and raise him as his own.
Life for John and his child, named David, lived together happily, with the father giving his son anything he ever needed to grow up into a healthy boy (after all, his fortune was really quite massive). For his third birthday, the man seats David on his lap and asks him, "My boy, you're almost 3 now! I think this year, for your birthday, I'll let you pick what you want for a gift. Anything you want, just name it, and you shall have it."
The child looks up at his father, and didn't wait a single second before blurting "Ping pong ball!" The man looks down curiously at his son, but doesn't question him, since he had promised him anything he had wanted. Thus, on his third birthday, David's father bought him a sleeve of three ping pong balls and presents them to him. Squealing happily, he grasps his prize in his hand and scampers off into the depths of John's large mansion (rather large, as his fortune was really quite massive). By the end of the night, the ping pong balls had disappeared. However, David had made no fuss, and actually seemed quite pleased with himself, with whatever he had done with the balls, so his father made no mind of the matter and soon forgot of what had happened.
Two more years pass, and the wobbly boy of before was now running on his two feet everywhere. He had lived without any needs or wants unfulfilled, and was quite a happy child. His father called for him, and asked him. "My boy, you're almost 5 now! I think this year, for your birthday, I'll let you pick what you want for a gift. Anything you want, just name it, and you shall have it."
The boy looks up at his father, and didn't wait a single second before exclaiming "I want some ping pong balls!" The man looks down curiously at his son, but doesn't question him, since he had promised him anything he had wanted. Thus, on his fifth birthday, David's father bought him two sleeves of three ping pong balls each (in case he lost one, which he had assumed was what happened with the one he bought for him two years prior). Cheering happily, he grasps his prizes, one sleeve in each hand, and runs off into the depths of John's large garden (rather large, as his fortune was really quite massive). By the end of the night, not one, but both sleeves of all six ping pong balls had dissapeared. However, David had made no fuss, and actually seemed quite pleased with himself, with whatever he had done with the balls, so his father made no mind of the matter and soon forgot of what had happened.
This goes on year after year, birthday after birthday, gifts of ping pong balls mysteriously vanishing the very day that they were given. Yet each year, David makes no fuss about the missing balls, and seems to only want for the next year to come so he may receive more. On his 18th birthday, when his son had asked for ping pong balls (naturally), John laughed and replied, "I don't know why I even ask anymore, since you always ask for the same thing. However, because you *are* 18, I will buy you a brand new car!" Thus, true to his promise, John bought his son a brand new convertible, loaded to the tip top with ping pong balls, for his son had predictably asked for the item.
Cheering happily, the young man jumps into his prize, body displacing a large amount of ping pong balls, and he drives off into the distance in his brand new expensive car (rather expensive, as his father's fortune was really quite massive). By the end of the night, when he returned, every single ball had dissapeared from the car. However, David had made no fuss, and actually seemed quite pleased with himself, with whatever he had done with the balls, so his father made no mind of the matter and soon forgot of what had happened.
More of the same happens every year, lavishly expensive presents rewarded with an equally lavish amounts of ping pong balls, with all the balls dissapearing. Finally, on David's 26th birthday (which also happened to be his wedding day), his father asked him what he wanted. After receiving the quite obvious response, John laughed and replied, "I don't know why I even ask anymore, since you always ask for the same thing. However, because you *are* getting married, I will buy you a brand new house!" Thus, true to his promise, John bought his son a brand new house with two silos to the side, each loaded to the tip top with ping pong balls, for his son had predictably asked for the item.
Cheering happily, the young man moves into his prize with his newly married wife, and John drove home. That night he received a phone call; his son was stricken with some sort of unknown ailment, and lay gasping for air in his bed. The distressed father hurried over, and before running into the house, noticed that both silos of ping pong balls were completely empty. Entering the house, he is stopped by the doctor who was already on the scene and seen the young man. Taking John aside, the doctor revealed to him some grim news.
"I don't know what caused your son to collapse, but what I can say is he is dying, and I don't know why. I do know, however, that there is no cure and no amount of money can save him, even though your fortune was really quite massive. The only thing you can do for him now is to speak to him before he dies."
With a sad, sad heart, the man walks up the stairs, tears welling in his eyes as he sees his son laying shivering and pale on the bed. He takes a seat next to his dying child, holding his hand firmly before looking toward him and asking a single question.
"My son, there is something I really, really need to know. What *have* you been doing with all those balls?"
David smiles weakly, his final and last smile before opening his mouth and responding, "Well father I..."
And he dies. The end.
